Manage Change In Your Loved Ones
How do you manage changes in your loved ones’ behavior as they age? Age does not always come with major changes in behavior. It is usually due to a medical situation. Nonetheless, it can be very difficult when your loved one, who used to be so kind and compassionate, becomes aggressive, angry, defensive, or even passive with age.
Maybe it’s your spouse who used to be so understanding and has now become hostile. Possibly it is your mom or dad who you used to lean on for support that has become irrational and physically violent. It’s likely very difficult to comprehend and overwhelming. You probably feel like you just don’t know where to start and you wish that they could just go back to being the sweet person that they used to be. Here are some simple things that you can do to address the changes that you may see in your lived ones:
- First, you need to educate yourself on what is causing these behavioral changes in your loved one. Having a clearer picture can help you feel that you have more of a handle on the situation. Talk to your loved ones’ doctor, therapist, or social worker if they have one. If these changes have just begun to occur, discuss them with your own doctor. Tell him or her what type of symptoms your loved one had begun exhibiting. They may be able to give you information to discuss with your loved one.
- Talk to your loved one if you feel that it is safe to do so. If your loved one is just beginning to exhibit behavioral changes, he or she will likely be able to acknowledge that something has been feeling “off” or “not quite right” within themselves. This is the stage that you want to suggest communication with your loved one’s physician or nurse practitioner. Having gathered preliminary information from your own doctor, you can go into a meeting with your loved one and their healthcare provider feeling somewhat knowledgeable.
- Set the tone for compassion and understanding with your loved one. Do not come off as selfish or angry. Your loved one is likely going through some difficulties in their own mind and will need compassion from those around them. In the meeting with your loved one’s doctor, do your best to help them understand what may be going on without making them feel talked down to. No matter what a person’s cognitive abilities, we can all feel when someone is being condescending to us. Put your emotions regarding how you have been treated aside. It will help your loved one feel that you want to help them.
- Take time away for yourself. Even when you know that your loved one’s actions are due to an illness, it can still be hard to take. Be sure to take time away from giving care to your loved one to take care of yourself. Do things that you enjoy and spend time with people who are uplifting.
